what the fuck?

I have a partner for smelly hand dude. his name is smelly ass dude. he frequents magoun saloon in somerville and looks like michael bolton. not even joking here. anyways this dude will be sitting at the bar and will just let one rip. he usually does it when the door opens so the breeze will blow his stink throughout the bar. again, not even remotelyjoking. this guy is so foul it's amazing to me someone hasn't knocked him out. it's a known fact that the shitty smell is coming from this dude and nothing ever has been done. the owner, I believe, has spoken to him about it but he still persists in funking up the joint and the owner says he can't kick him out for that reason alone. why the fuck not? what good is it to own your own damn bar if you can't kick people out. I'm usually too busy gagging to do anything about it. but I am also not getting that close to him to actually say anything, let alone punch him. it might almost be worth it to throw up on him though. how great would that be?

what the fuck is wrong with people???

I witnessed the grossest thing ever this morning at the gym, I literally had to clamp my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't spit my surge all over the place.first off, at 7:00 this morning, I was the only girl on the weight floor without a trainer. and all (three) of the women that were with trainers were on some form of cable machine. the whole time. so sad...ok, so I'm going about my program and of course because I have to do chest supported rows, suddenly all of scla has to do csr's. I normally never see anyone using this equipment and now it's all the rage! I'm sure people use it regularly and I just don't notice it because I'm not doing those at the time, but whatever. I needed the equipment and it's being hogged by some skinny dude, so I'm annoyed. so this skinny dude in his running shorts, you know the ones - mega short - gets off the csr machine and is walking about doing ridiculous stretches. I sit up from doing a db press and notice him in the mirror, with his hand completely down his shorts, rummaging around for all the world to see. and don't tell me about adjusting guys because I don't want to hear it. he then takes his hand out of his shorts and sniffs his hand. I shit you not. as I said above, I had a mouthful of surge at the time and it almost went everywhere. I then proceeded to crack up laughing. because that's what I do in ridiculous situations. smelly hand dude then proceeded to go around and touch just about every set of db's. and that's when I said to myself, I'm outta here. and here I am now, with the image stuck in my head of this retard smelling his nasty ass hand. seriously? what the hell is wrong with people?

as an aside, has anyone ever checked this out? http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/
so friggin funny. yes, it's about celebrities but it's hysterical. reminds me of me. she's a serious hater too. and she loves michael phelps. just like me! maybe we are twins separated at birth!check it out

I rock

just a short one tonight because I can honestly say that I'm too goddamn tired to hate right now. just wanted to let you all know that last night I did a 175 lb trap bar deadlift for 3 reps and this morning did a 90 lb bench press for 2 sets of 2 reps. you all may not think that's alot, but it's the heaviest I've ever done. so I'm pretty happy with myself.
oh, and stolen from healthworks tonight, Gravity Pilates class description: Looking for that lean and tone look without bulking up? that's all I'm gonna write on it because I know when tony reads this his head is gonna explode. I'll bring the paper with me on saturday though so tony can blog about it himself. ahh, good times.
I totally lied about being too tired to hate (you all know that wasn't true anyways). I hate taking flameout. the pills are huge and they are now stuck in my throat.
BUT I do love michael phelps. I dont' give a shit that he's 23 years old. he's adorable and has a hot ass body.
and I'm going to bed now with that though. toodles

omri and random hate thoughts

I'll get to omri in a minute, first off the weirdo guy that does db curls on the spin bike was at it again tonight. and to make it worse, he's in spandex shorts and a tank top. it wasn't a pretty site. both the outfit and the ridiculous curls he was doing on the bike. he then shows up in the weight area to do some "benching" on the smith machine, and the whole time he had his legs up in the air against the mirrors. really dude? bad enough you're using the smith machine, but now you're gonna put your feet up against the mirrors? such an asshole. and then his friend - dreadlocked white guy, also in spandex comes over to talk to him. whatever no big deal. except he's basically standing on top of me while I'm doing speed trap bar deadlifts. I just kept on doing what I was doing and didn't care if I hit him or not. he moved.
I would have totally appreciated the trainer asking me if I was using the cable machine tonight. if I wasn't holding db's in the air doing reverse lunges on the slide board. does it look like I'm using the damn cable machine. I guess the thought was there but really dude, how about you wait until I'm done doing my lunges? I think he just wanted to talk to me.
I was on the train tonight and got stuck beside this obnoxious woman who kept reassuring her fat daughter that marilyn monroe was a "perfect" size 13. when the fuck did a size 13 become perfect?? I thought the saying was a perfect size 6 or 8 or something like that?
which now leads me to omri. I have honestly met omri once. he seems like a nice little guy. I really don't have a problem with him. why would I? I've only met him once and I don't train with him. what I am beginning to get a little bonkers over is his comments in various blogs/forums. here are a few:
"I love the Cheesecake Factory– the familiar menu, the never-changing “specials,” the ginormous portions… You go in knowing what you plan on getting, you get it, you leave. Plus anyone who tells me the avocado egg rolls are bad (i dont care if they’re bad FOR you– I just need calories anyway) is a liar and is going straight to hell for it."
"I only started putting on the weight when Brian got me to scarf down every calorie i could find– bagels and all. So a high carb diet might be appropriate for me, whereas it might make another person fat and slow"

ok, I thought I had more of omri rubbing it in our faces that he NEEDS to put on weight, but I can't find anymore. anyways, really omri? do you need to gain weight? is that what you're trying to tell us? maybe I just read the comments too many times, or I'm just a fatty and am jealous but dude we get it. you're skinny and we're not. you can do freaky wall slide things in ec's article and we can't, you are great, we suck. hooray for you! not stop telling us how skinny you are for the love of christ. it's pissing me off. otherwise I don't have a problem with you.

seriously???

ec sent me this link today. I'm warning you before you click on it, it will fill you with such intense hatred, you will know what it's like to be me everyday.

http://www.netrition.com/cgi/newsprint.cgi?file=20080805115400_1

ok, now that you've read it. really.??? you're too fat to be executed? what else do you have to do in jail than workout? I mean, I've never been in jail, but I know peeps who have and there's nothing for you to do! and I know prison food isn't good. how are you so fat?? now I do know that you can like order snacks and all from the canteen, but really, how many snacks do you have to eat to be so grossly obese that it would be difficult to execute you?
and not to mention, who are his attorneys? their job really is to get a convicted rapist off death row by saying he's too grossly obese to be executed. give me a fucking break. these people have to just hate themselves. because if I was an attorney and this was my job, I'd just throw in the towel on life and call it a day.
I swear to god I've heard it all now.

spike bandwagon

I just read tony's new post on the t-nation forum and think that between me and him we could get serious commissions for talking up spike. oh, that's right. like 5 people read my blog.... whatevs.

oh how I love spike

I know I'm just saying what everyone already knows and thinks, but I love spike. today was my first spike in 16 days. 16 DAYS!!! how I missed it. and what I'm about to say is probably gonna make all of CP angry. but I also have lifted a weight in 16 days (which is why I also haven't written much, in case you all missed me and my hate). I have my reasons but they're just gonna come across as excuses so I'm not even gonna get into why I have been a slacker, but how I've missed training! so I drink my spike on my way to the gym and I immediately feel it and I know it's gonna be a good training day. first off, I was sweating before I even lifted a weight and first thing I do (after extensive warming up) is speed trap bar dead lifts. these might be my new favorite thing. I'm sure I was getting some looks doing them. and then I was really sweating. you all know how I sweat. it wasn't pretty. I'm thinking, even though tony said even he wouldn't do my insano program, I'm liking it. until I get to side planks with rows. never mind that they're ridiculously hard, but of course the two cable machines are being hogged by trainers. so one opens up, I do one set. then a dude takes the machine. fine, I'll ask if I can work in. can't do that, because he's too busy having a 15 minute conversation with someone else. I timed it. 15 minutes. no lie. he did one set in that whole time. so now I'm just too pissed to ask him to work in because I know I'm gonna say something like, since you're just standing here talking, mind if I actually do some work? and then I was even more pissed because I was really so happy to be back training. really I was. happy. me. just to be back training. (what have you turned me into tony?) and this dude was ruining it! AND THEN this other dude tried to steal my cable machine WHILE I WAS ON IT! no joke. I'm done on the ground, about to get into plank position and he goes to move the other arm and change the weight. so I say uh, hi, I'm still using this. I'm a big girl people. how do you miss someone on the ground in front of the damn machine? honest to god.
anyways, I finished the stupid planks and went on to stupid front loaded plate squats, or whatever the hell they're called. hard is what I call them. my legs are like jello. imagine if I didn't have the spike? I'd probably be dead. well probably not, because I rock but still...
btw, is anyone from t-nation reading this shit? I LOVE SPIKE. SEND ME SPIKE! only red though, the other kinds are gross.

and because it wouldn't be me without saying something mean... this morning I'm walking to the train station and there's this couple in front of me and they are homely as shit. I mean I guess ugly people need love too, but do we have to witness it? thank christ I'm not ugly.

I hate tony

really tony, 11:56 on my birthday and you decide to place a post saying happy birthday. don't think I didn't catch the sarcasm about being your favorite client ever either, because if I was, you would have texted or called or emailed or posted a happy birthday to me before 4 mintutes left in the goddamn day. the only people I like in all of CP right now are the girls and eric. thank you for the birthday wishes, I truly appreciate it.

tony, be expecting a punch in the throat.