my baking days are over

for those of you who don't know, I moved about a month ago. into my own apartment. after five years of living with three plus other people it was time to go and I got a sweet deal on a one bedroom apartment in east cambridge. or what I thought was a sweet deal. because of course there's always gotta be a catch. like the two fucking maniac children that live upstairs from me. that I swear as soon as the sun rises they leap out of their beds and then proceed to play tag throughout the apartment until their bedtime. every goddamn day. seven days a week. sleep in? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure their parents get in on the game of tag as well, because you know, four year olds can't possibly weigh that much for it to sound like elephants are coming through my ceiling. and if anyone has ever wondered where I get my attitude from, my mom was here last week and said she was gonna go upstairs and punch the mother in the mouth for letting her kids run around like that. apple doesn't fall far from the tree people.
ok, kids aside my real issue is that my oven is from the 1950's. I'm not lying. I googled it. and lord knows google doesn't lie. 1950's bitches! it has a heater on one side and the oven on the other. the stovetop lights when it wants to and it takes a good 30 minutes to pre-heat. seriously? yea, seriously. so I thought I'd change things up and eat healthy tonight. so I'm cooking some chicken for my salad. cooking it for a fucking hour! I just got done eating at 10:30 because it took that long to cook a piece of goddamn chicken. serves me right.
my real issue though is my baking. I bake like it's my job. hell, it should be my job. I am a kickass baker. I put kickass cupcakes to shame. not petsi's though. that lady is a baking genius and I want to be her! (if you aren't aware of petsi pies, I suggest going there. PHENOMENAL!)
so if it takes an hour to cook chicken imagine how long it will take to cook cupcakes and breads and cookies. this is a sad sad world we live in when I can't bake. I don't even eat the baked goods I make, I share. I'm a good sharer. so everyone better find a new baker cuz no more whoopie pies for you. I will cry now. good night.

silver lining

by rilo kiley is what I'm listening to right now (I'm taking a cue from steph's blog right now).

and my hero is Nancy LeBlanc, who not only got her locksmith friend to make me a key that actually WORKS for my car, she drove it down to redbones this afternoon (technically yesterday afternoon). and I can't even convey my appreciation to her. thank you thank you thank you Nancy.

so every once in a while life works in your favor and I'm so happy today was my day.

random acts of stupidity

before I sully up my trip to chicago with alot of hate I just want to say that it was so great to see my brother. he looks so good. he dropped 20 pounds and the navy haircut wasn't as bad as I was expecting and it actually makes him look both younger and older at the same time. don't ask me to explain that, it just is that way. that's a picture of him and his girlfriend, who I love and was my saving grace on this trip.

that being said... sweet jesus up above I don't know how I survived that trip. honestly, I think I took atleast ten years off my life from the shear aggrivation of just everyone and everything about my trip. traveling with family does not suit me. my dad made me crazy. I feel bad even saying that because he's sick and has no short term memory and is like an alzheimers patient at the age of 51 but man, I thought I was gonna throw myself in front of all the god forsaken traffic in chicago. right off the bat there's a family fight in the airport because my dad wants breakfast and we dont' have time to stop. he has a thing about having bacon and eggs everyday and if he doesn't get it he's pissed. like locking my mom out of the house pissed. so because we don't have time to stop for goddamn bacon and eggs, we're all assholes. so we get to chicago and by that point we're all starving. I'm pretty sure the people of Zion, IL only eat mcdonalds and burger king because other than that, the choices for food were pretty goddamn slim.

and guess what else they don't have in that neck of the woods of IL? foam rollers! I made a hasty retreat to the gym the first night and I dont' know if it was my accent or they're really stupid, but the dude at golds gym looked at me like I had seven heads when I asked if they had foam rollers. he even asked the manager, she was a cute one, she didn't know what they were either. and I was too aggrivated to explain it.

I'm not gonna bore you with the rest of the details of my trip, just know that there's also no ice coffee in the city of zion and we did some touristy stuff in chicago. which is a city I definitly need to go back to without the family.

now the real hate. NORTHWEST FUCKING AIRLINES BLOWS. and so does Avis rental car for that matter. we flew back to boston on sunday morning at 7 am. which meant we left the hotel at 4:30 to get to the airport and to return our rental car. this bitch at avis tells me I didn't go through the right process to return the car, so I get back in the fucking car and drive literally 50 feet to the check in for them to tell me to go back to the lady and get my receipt. really? was it honestly necessary for me to do all that? and in the process miss the bus back to the airport. fine. fine fine fine. I go back to the lady who then tells me I didn't go to the right guy. that's when I started swearing and that's when she promptly took the keys and gave me my receipt. I then get accosted by some lady's perfume. IT'S 5:30 IN THE MORNING. who are you trying to impress with all the fucking perfume? I had to move away from her because I instantly got a headache. ok, we get on the flight to detroit, because of course we have a layover, total turbulance the whole 47 minutes. poor jenny hates flying and cried and held my hand the whole way. (I can be nice when I want to) we connect to the boston flight, everythings fine. UNTIL my baggage comes through. upside down. soaking wet. the pocket zipper wide open. contents GONE. what contents you ask? all my mac makeup. jenny's keys. and my only fucking house and car key. GONE. did I mention they were my only keys. yes wiseasses of the world I realize I'm the asshole for not ever making a copy of said keys but really I don't need that thrown in my face right now. I go to the baggage issue people and report my problem and they have nothing to offer me. they called someone, who knows who, but they didn't have my keys. shocking, I know. luckily my landlord had an extra set of house keys, because honestly if I had to go home with my parents I wouldn't be alive to write this right now.

and that in a nutshell sums up my whole trip and really my life in general. I am stupid. I do stupid things and now I have no car. I have no car to get to cp on saturday. I have no car to get to my waxing appointment tomorrow. I have no car to get to my dentist appointment on saturday. I guess the one upside of this all is that I also have no car to get to jason's to do his bookkeeping and no car to get to visit the family this weekend.

random thursday thoughts

I'm about to head to the airport to go to my brothers navy graduation in Illinois so I wanted to leave some love for you all before I go. and by love I really mean random hate.

why do people order water with no ice in a restaurant? I mean I have sensitive teeth too but not so much that ice in my water is going to kill me. I literally had one kid tell me he was allergic to ice. he thought he was being funny. he got the michelle look. he stopped thinking he was funny right away. jackass.
and this is why I'm a terrible waitress. Ihate stupid shit. you know right off the bat what you're gonna be dealing with for the rest of the night when someone orders water with no ice. assholes. those who know me, know that if I don't like you, you know it IMMEDIATELY. there's nothing fake about me, I can't hide my feelings. sometimes people appreciate that about me, but for the most part its lost on everyone. and you would think that as much as I hate people, I'd hate waiting on them. but I actually like waiting tables. or I should say, in the right setting I like doing it. I don't think cambridge is the right setting for me. too many uppity bitches.

I thought I had more hate to spread today, but I'm drawing a blank. I haven't had my coffee yet, that might be it. I'm sure I'll have plenty more to blog about when I get back from chicago.

but before I go I wanted to say Congratulations to Brian on getting engaged. I realized after I left CP on saturday that I didn't even mention it to him and I felt like an ass. so yea, good luck buddy. having a girlfriend in connecticut's not the same as living with them in the same house forever, but who am I to talk with my perpetual singleness?
seriously, I'm really happy for you and the mystery woman.

and thank you to tony and eric who I kept at CP until 8:30 last night while I trained. though I do believe tony is trying to kill me with this program. here's two of the medley's he wants me to do

Medley: Bike (30 sec), DB Push Press (10), Clap Push-Ups (5), Jump Squats (10), Elbow Touch Plank (5 per).
Medley: 1-Arm Farmers Walks, Recoiled Med Ball Throws, Burpees, Keg Press, Sled Push

the first medley is supposed to take place at SCLA. and why he thinks I can do clap push ups is beyond my comprehension. and keg presses? really I'd like to press the keg into his face.

and lastly, Pete, Catherine and Steph all love Ryan Montbleau! and I love you three!!

ahh, what a refreshing way to end a blog. with some love. I hope chicago's ready for some hate because you know the love ain't gonna last long
don't miss me too much!!!

why you'll always be fat

I work in boston, in a not so many floored building and what drives me the most crazy is the bitches who take the elevator to the first and second floor. it's always the fatties too. honest to god people, do you realize that if you can't atleast climb the stairs for a floor or two you'll always be fat?? christ. I realize I should be climbing the stairs too, but five flights first thing in the morning is a bit much. I'm usually lugging a heavy ass bag on my back and carrying two ice coffees, so going up five floors isn't my ideal way to start the day.

so you may have noticed I haven't updated this in a bit, but I've been away in maine. where the saying is: Maine, the way life should be. and I agree. goddamnit if I don't love maine. I'm not sure if I'd ever live there, but my friends house in on a 2o mile lake and you do nothing but eat, drink and be merry. yes, this girl here was in fact merry. for days on end. the only thing that pissed me off all weekend was my friends dog barking, and then I just put my ipod on and went on being merry. maybe I should live in maine...

side note, tonight at 6:30 there had to be atleast 50 people on the weight floor, I was not one of them because I just got out of a spin class, but the only girl there was donning a set of pink dumbbells. ok, I think they were blue, but you get my point. it's a sad state of affairs that we live in today....

AND tony and eric won't be at cp this weekend, so either I skip cp, which will mean three weeks not there or I skip my 4th week of the program and not do my 1 RM of trap bar deadlifts. because honestly, if they aren't there to witness my awesomeness, does it really even happen?

shit, you know it does! but it's always better when tony witnesses it. eric I'm sure notices my awesomeness all the time